i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
