i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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