I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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