No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
