What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
