worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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