I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
