We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
