That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
