I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
