I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
