I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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