Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Fuck appropriateness.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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