ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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