he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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