This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
