im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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