So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
