the condom got lost in my hair
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
