If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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