I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So here I am, sexting at work.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
