I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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