Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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