Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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