He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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