she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
