We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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