every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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