I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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