Where is the hickey?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
