My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I fill condoms, not promises.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
