the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
