Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
