Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
