at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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