I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
