problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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