haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
