Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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