I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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