Kiss
Puke
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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