the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
