p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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