My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
porn star boner night. come get it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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