its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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