Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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