broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
