If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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