is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
