is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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