FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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